Learning How to Be Beautiful

As a child, I had an easy time with the concept of beauty. I created fun outfits, liked my hair, and generally felt special. But as I got older and began watching movies and reading magazines, my idea of "beautiful" was taken over by the concept of being "datable." I was now trying to fit into a construct that was superimposed and dictated by values I didn't hold.

One day during my homeroom class in seventh grade, a boy asked me an odd-yet-thought-provoking question. He said, "If you were a guy, and you knew a girl like you, would you be interested in her?" I was surprised to discover that my answer was, "No." It wasn't that I felt unattractive, per se. I just didn't fit the concept of "attractive," or overly sexual and superficial, that I'd learned from society. I was a person of substance who loved studying, dancing, and deep intellectual conversations. I didn't see many examples of brilliant, gentle women who were deemed attractive by men, so I didn't feel like I fit into that world. I was open to relationships and all; I just didn't think I could be desirable without changing a bit to please a guy.

The truth is that changing anything about ourselves to become "attractive" is too high a price to pay for relationship. The world needs women to be 100% themselves, with all the nurture, strength, and unique glory that we carry in our femininity! A broken version of femininity breaks the world around us.

So how do we help girls to know the difference between our culture's broken view of beauty and the genuine expression of it? I believe it has everything to do with who we allow to influence our girls. Are they feasting on Youtube and movies that teach them to spend more time on their makeup than their character? Are they learning how to "get" a guy (aka manipulation) instead of how to love people really well? Or, are they spending their time around strong adults with healthy relationships, absorbing messages about love that's pure and whole?

Let's give our girlies the best of the best messages. Be the voices in her world helping her define pure romance so she can dump the lies and run in freedom!