One weekend while living in NYC, I had an acquaintance invite me to a pop up shop for her clothing line. If you're unfamiliar with that term (I was until I went to this one 😃), it's when a clothing brand rents a space and sets up shop for a short amount of time. It can last anywhere from 1 day to a week or so. Anyway, this one was a fun event. We hung out and munched on wine and cheese, then shopped among her designs.
I'd had my eye on an interesting jacket, eye-catching in its aqua and silver striped glory. I liked the colors but wasn't convinced that the collar worked for me. As I pondered it, my friend over and practically put the jacket on for me. She went on about how good I looked, and how someone like me could pull off something so flashy. At that time in my life, there was a broken place in me that drank her words in. I tend to do my own thing fashion-wise, and sometimes people overlook or misunderstand me. So hearing someone basically say I was "NYC-cool" enough to wear something so bold pushed me to bypass my inhibitions and just buy the jacket.
Well, next season that jacket was on its way out of my closet. Why? The collar didn't quite work for me. 😃
Have you ever had someone use flattery to sell you something? You may be well aware that they're scheming, but sometimes we receive it because feeling a little bit good beats feeling bad. So why is it a problem? Because it undermines your confidence in making your own decisions, and it plays on your insecurities. It lets vultures speak into sensitive areas of your life, making you like a property with breached security systems.
When that happens, you are no longer your own person. It is like getting swept up into a flood, being eventually carried where you don't want to go. It's deadly because it tells you that you are in control...until it's got your hands tied. We dismiss it in our culture, saying that's just business for you. But no. Good business doesn't have to play with people's emotions to sell their products. The merit of what they sell should be good enough for people to buy without coersion.
So what's the antidote? Know who you are, love yourself, and appreciate your point of view. If someone is selling you something by offering a solution for a problem you don't have, walk away. Who you are is already so great, and no "expertise" gives someone a right to say otherwise. True experts encourage you by bringing out your strengths, not capitalizing on your weaknesses.
The world needs the genuine you, so don't let anyone change you. Today it's just someone selling you clothes, but tomorrow it's a boss flattering you into a position so they can use you. Or a man coercing you into a toxic relationship. Let your insecurities be healed by what God says about you, and settle the truth about yourself in your heart. Because if you compromise yourself, we'll miss out on the wisdom and solutions you'd ultimately bring to our society. People may applaud the real you, they may hate you, they may love you, or they may overlook you. But they can't extinguish the power of a confident life lived with love. So carry on!
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