How do you feel about relaxing, or maybe taking a day off to pursue personal interests? I think on the surface, we'd all say we love a good vacation! But how do you really feel? Maybe you are driven, but what is at the steering wheel? Do you allow yourself to truly rejuvenate, or do you approach life from a sense of being tied to your work? Answer these few diagnostic questions to help you see where you are on this journey:
1. Days Off and Vacations: When you take a day off from work or school, how do you feel about yourself? Do you feel as if you're being lazy? Do you have a deep-down, maybe even barely-detectable sense that you're not as significant if you're not working?
2. Email and Social Media: Do you constantly check your messages? If you have very few messages, do you feel less important?
3. Relaxation and Peers: When someone tells you he or she likes to relax, do you secretly judge? Do you assume that people who stay in their PJs on weekends or take time to pursue their personal interests are not ambitious?
4. Work and Life: How often do you stay late at work? Sure, it's noble to finish what you start. But do you keep going when it's not necessary, feeling as if it makes you a better person? Do you ever choose work over personal rest (even when you're feeling sick), family, or friends?
If any of these things describes you, you'll want to take stock of your deep-down emotions. There's nothing wrong with being busy, but the Why behind the What matters most. Start by recognizing that your life existed before your work. Humanity existed before industry, and anything on which we expend energy ought to enhance (not diminish) our society and our lives.
But if you can't seem to find the off switch, you may be using your work as a Self Worth Meter. Voices around us convince us that important people are constantly in demand. So we feel that if no one is demanding our attention, we must not be needed. But this can distort the truth. Sometimes people demand our attention because they are controlling or entitled. Or they may simply use others for personal gain. Either way, it's deceptive. And if filling your emotional tank is your motivation for staying busy, a 12 hour day won't satisfy if an 8 hour day doesn't. You'd never get your fill. You'll stay empty no matter what you do, because self worth isn't found in activity. If it were, what would you do after retirement?
The truth is that our purpose and importance comes from who we are rather than what we do. It's found in being created one-of-a-kind, not from a to-do list. No one else takes the place in God's heart that you do! Being the author of truth Himself, what He says about you holds weight. Other people's opinions of you are based on their outlooks that are not usually 100% accurate. But when God says you are enough, that's big! So if your worth is based on who you are to Him, you can live a life that pours out love. That may drive you to do well in your job or at school. But since the deep-down sense of worthiness is there, it'll never drive you to devalue yourself or others in the process.
So let your joy come from your work itself, not from the being-busy aspect of it. That way you'll know when to call it a day. Now go home, kick back, and simply be!
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