When I was in middle school, I danced at a studio connected with the Miami Ballet company. A number of us students also attended a local performing arts schools. This bunch included a girl we will call Serene. She was a year younger than me, and she was a great dancer!
The sad thing about Serene is that she wasn't. She wasn't serene, that is. She didn't realize that she was just fine being herself. Unlike most of the dancers in the program, whom I'd known since elementary school, Serene was new. I didn't know her background, but she just seemed to have an edge to her. She was open about her disrespect towards others, and she didn't seem to have qualms about forcibly trying to get her way.
And we were only 13. Actually, I was 13, so she was 12.
One day, she told me something that saddened and baffled me. See, our Nutcracker Ballet performance was coming up. It was one of our biggest shows of the year, and our school only did it once every 3 years. She and I had been cast as semi-soloists in one of the pieces, which was not a small role. I was excited about it, but she wasn't. She wanted to be the soloist, and she was willing to do whatever she had to. As semi-soloists, we were also understudies (for non-performers, that means that one of us would get the role if the soloist could not perform it). So Serene told me she'd hatched a plan.
She came into the dressing room at the studio one day after school, carrying her heavy school books. She dropped them on the soloist's foot, hoping to injure her. Thankfully, no one got hurt. She kept trying little things like this, but never successfully. I'm glad she didn't succeed in it, but this whole concept gets me thinking.
Why do we scheme so hard to plan for our personal "success?" I mean, imagine if Serene had succeeded. Would she really have gotten what she wanted? I think she just wanted a moment in the sun, a time to show the world the beauty inside her. And who doesn't want that? But isn't the sweetness of our success found in earning a chance to be heard? I mean, she would have known deep down that she never rightfully earned the role. And our teachers were fair. What if the part were beyond her ability? So she would have had a role she knew she didn't earn and may not have executed very well.
Let's go even deeper. Why did Serene even bother to desire what someone else had? What does it say about our expectations of life when we compete? There's a big world out there, and there is so much honor to be had. Many dancers grow up going to a studio where they have a few classes once a week, ending the year with a recital. We, on the other hand, we had a 2 hour class every day with excellent teachers. We performed at least 3 times a year for larger productions, interspersed with competitions, community service performances, and festivals. We had TONS of opportunities to show our work to others. But this girl was bent on having a 20 second solo role on a stage she'd share with about 15 other dancers. And she was willing to injure someone to get it!
Furthermore, do we think WE are so small, designed only for those parts in life where people look at us? What about using our talents to encourage people, whether before a crowd or not? What do we hope to gain from having to be seen? Fame? And let's say we do gain fame. What will we really gain from entertaining people who don't know us? Will they love us and take care of us when we're not fulfilling their lustful eyes? Perhaps it's connection we want. But we don't have to stand on a stage for that; we just need to open ourselves to healthy people who want to connect respectfully with us.
Finally, what does it say about us as people if we believe the only way to get what we want is to harm our peers? It says we mustn't think ourselves to be very smart. If we were, couldn't we find ways to seek our own good opportunities and not steal from others? It also says we don't believe in our talents. If we did, wouldn't we believe that we were good enough to earn our own roles?
Finally, what does it say about our opinion of God and our purpose in the world? It indicates that we must not think Anyone has much of a plan for our lives or the ability to carry it out. No one is born with such a twisted conscience that we want to harm people without reason. This comes when we think that what's in us isn't powerful enough to shine. But if we've been given these talents, I guarantee you there is a plan for each of us to use them! There's a Heavenly Dad who puts you in the right places at the right times.
Dancing (or doing your job, hobbies, etc.) isn't just so people say you're great for 5 seconds and then forget you when something better comes. It's about blessing others, and being blessed as you do it. You can do that whether you have a small or big part, and what's inside you is powerful enough! Realize there's a lot of love and opportunity for you in this world, so seek it out and receive!
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