Right now I am apartment hunting, which I greatly enjoy. I get creative interior decorating ideas, and I get to see some cool places. Well, sometimes. :)
I am noticing an odd trend, however, as I look at rental search engine posts. See, most of the nice apartments don't have to strive to get you interested. They show you pictures, and they highlight some of the not-so-visible amenities like central AC or a garbage disposal. The rest speaks for itself. But every now and then I come across the postings where they seem to really be digging for exciting features. Some will say things like, "Featuring a refrigerator, freezer, stove, oven..." Well, yes. It is illegal in some places to rent someone an apartment without a fridge or a stove. :) But it tells me that if they need to try so hard, the apartment is possibly not a very comfortable place to live.
Then I got to thinking about how we sometimes unwittingly do the same things in how we carry ourselves. We "advertise" things about ourselves that are base and not very important. For instance, when we as women wear clothes that play up our sexuality on the forefront. Sometimes we dress, talk, relate, and act as if this is, at the core, who we are rather than just a part of our lives.
If not our sexuality, we try to get people to like us by being continually agreeable and compliant, saying only what others want to hear. Or maybe we put on the "business" or "pop culture" persona so others will think we are sophisticated. We have in our minds that we are only likable if we don't ruffle feathers, and we end up surrounding ourselves with entitled people who don't like their feathers ruffled!
But why, oh, why?!
Don't we know? Don't we understand who we are, or what we are worth? We were made beautifully, purposefully. We have intrinsic value because we are human beings, and that alone is something to awe. If that weren't enough, we were each given unique talents to bring to the table, and no two of us is alike! What a joy to be a new creation that's never walked the earth before! And this intrinsic value is something we don't have to strive to show, because it shines on its own!
But the pain is real. I get it. Some of us have had people put us down, tell us our talents weren't important, or treat us like we were unworthy. So we feel we have to prove our worth, and we go for displaying the outward things that are easy to show, but that devalue us.
How do you get over that? Supernaturally. It feels impossible because it is, for a human anyway. But God can help, and He wants to! He can heal you up and help you internalize the truth of who you really are! In the meantime, it helps to stop inviting people into your life who demand that you comply, sell yourself, or whatever it is you've been doing to draw them.
So now we can just be, and we know that the relationships we need will come. We can realize that we have bright light in us, and it shines without our forcing it. People are naturally drawn to us, and we to them, based on this light we carry. The healthier our hearts become, the healthier relationships come our way when we learn to say no to the bad and yes to the good! That's not to say that if the wrong people come your way, you aren't doing well. People will do as they will, but you can always say no to those who want to relate to you unhealthily so that your friendships are mutually encouraging.
So no more advertising the kitchen stove knobs, ok? You are a gem, and anyone with eyes can already see you shine. So no more eye-less friends for you, either. Ok, I'm done. :)
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