Worth More Than Someone's Half-a-Heart

On this day, right where you are sitting, doing exactly what you are doing, you are worth more than you know. And you have a light in you that no one else does!

I am inspired to write this post because I've had too many conversations with too many amazing women who don't know how amazing they are. Sure, we may be pretty confident, but we could all use a boost, because we were made to shine more than we know! So let me tell you a little story.

My freshman year of college, I met Joe*. He was a nice guy, and I liked him. He seemed to like me as well. We hung out a lot, and he did little things like finding ways to touch me, or staring at me from the other side of a crowded room and smiling when I caught his eye. I felt pretty special, and I was pretty sure he was interested in pursuing me.

But as time wore on, nothing changed in our relationship. He continued being flirty, but he never did much to pursue a committed relationship with me. Sometimes I would try to fan the flame by implying that we could be something other than friends, but he still didn't take much initiative.

So in my head, I made up reasons why he did what he did. Maybe Joe wasn't ready, he was fearful of commitment, etc. I continued to stay close to him, all the while anticipating that one day he may eventually pursue me. And sure, all the excuses I made for his passivity actually may have been true. But ever since I've become an adult and had a dose of God's cherishing love for me, I've gained new perspective.

My new perspective is this: I live in the here and now. I don't live in the past, and I don't live in the future. I may meet a great guy who is immature and would be a great fit for me 2 years from now. But you know what? It's not 2 years from now, it's today. I may also remember a great guy from my past that I want to reconnect with, thinking I can resurrect something old. But I live in the now, not in the past.

I have learned that when it comes to relationships, God puts those people around us that we, as our current selves, need now. This doesn't mean there is no room for growth, but here's what it does mean: we don't need to cherish in our hearts those potentially romantic relationships in which we are the only ones cherishing.

Special Guy may treat you well, but if he isn't taking initiative or specifically telling you he wants more, value yourself enough to let it go. Love is supposed to be protected, cherished, and reciprocated. By both people. No matter the reason he isn't initiating with you, it's important to come to terms with the fact that he's not.

But what if xyz happens in the future? Well, I guess anything could happen. But do you really want to be with someone who takes forever to see that you are special? Your light is shining, and if he can't see it, why do you think he'll be different in the future? I once thought I had to just make it clearer, and be more "myself" with these guys so they could perceive me. Then one day, in the midst of such a relationship, another guy (just a friend) came along and simply told me what he thought of me. As he went on about the things he appreciated in my character, I was amazed that he'd noticed certain things! I had never tried to get him to see anything, but from afar, even the subtle was obvious, because he had eyes to see. It made me realize that trying to get people to notice what's in me is a vain effort. Some people have eyes to see, and others just don't.

So don't worry about those who don't. You have people to influence, love to give and receive, and so much to do NOW! You are worth more than someone's half-a-heart. If you're like I was in my season of excuses, you may not believe that there is someone who will totally commit to you, so you take what you think you can get. But as a wise friend (whom I resented at the time :-P) told me, "If someone is making you do backflips to earn his love now, he will always expect you to do back flips." 

So save your back and cut your one-sided relationships loose. You are a woman, dearly loved and destined for greatness. But you'll never see greatness if you put yourself at the mercy of someone who can't see your glory. You are worth being adored.