You Are Hereby Accepted To...

Dear Life Candidate,

I am pleased to inform you that you are accepted into the wonderful family known as Life Purpose. Everything about you has been observed completely, and there is nothing in you that is short of flawless. You have a unique spot to fill in Life, and we sought you out to be our one-of-a-kind design. We are elated.

I understand that you have received many counterfeit rejection letters from those who call themselves Life Purpose*. Some of them tell you that your acceptability is determined by irrelevant criteria like your hair color, height, academic institution, or knowing the "right" words to say. Please understand that these letters are not from Life, but from those who masquerade as the One who has the true words of Life. Genuine Life Purpose correspondence will never demand that you change who you are to fit in (e.g. You must have this skin color and wear make-up that covers the beauty of your real face).

Going forward, you can recognize authentic words of Life by the following criteria:
-They are spoken with love, not judgment ("You are in our family, and we love you," versus, "You can only be part of our exclusive family if you conform. You don't want to be abandoned, do you? I guess you'd better do what we say, then.")
-They are for everyone.
-They are spoken with humble invitation by those who know they are in the family as a privilege, not by conquest.
-They are filled with promises of hope and a bright future for all involved.

Thank you for your time. We very much look forward to the trials and the triumphs of Life, all of which you will get to use to your advantage. We are glad you are part of our family.

Love,
Life 

*Never give personal information to those masquerading as Life. Correspondence from fake Life Purpose will demand personal info up front without getting to know you (your sexuality, your loyalty in friendship, your emotional commitment, or even your time), but they only want to fill their gullets.

Have you ever felt like there's some big, impersonal institution called Life, and you don't quite fit? I have. In fact, I used to feel that often growing up. I felt like there was always a lingo I didn't know, some new style I wasn't up on (or couldn't afford), or some standard I didn't fit.

The truth? There were lots of those imposed standards I didn't fit. But the untruth is that those things are important enough to affect our lives.

See, I grew up reading lots of Teen magazines, watching MTV, and attending a high school to which I'd transferred in 10th grade with lots of kids who already knew each other. I rarely ever felt like I got everything right socially, because I honestly didn't want to emulate many of the things I saw on the big screen or at school (the latter imitated the former). But why did being different need to make me feel weird?

The fake elephant in the room was to blame for my feeling weird. There was a dominating mindset that didn't belong, and it affects so many. It's not just for teenagers, but for anyone at any stage of life who allows environment, home, media, or other societal constructs to dictate how they should express themselves. I'm sure you know it well. It's the thing in the air at a high school party or a night club that makes certain behavior "cool," and other behavior "uncool." It's the stuff of shows like The Office, subconsciously telling people that there's a standard for those who are acceptable and those who are not.

What we need is a good dose of truth to snap us out of this place. For me, my college relationships helped big-time. I met people from all walks of life, and they treated me with respect immediately without my having to earn it. Oh, and they laughed at my jokes ;-). In this atmosphere of acceptance, I felt for the 1st time since childhood that I could completely be myself. And as I saw people receive my uniqueness as enjoyable, helpful, or otherwise positive, it helped me to give of myself even more. Also, I was no longer ingesting much TV or print media because of my busy schedule, which helped me to define real life as that which is lived by real people, not that which is dictated by imposed standards of people I didn't know.

Sure, we've heard that you can't believe everything you see in the media, but I see this invading the lives of so many people, so I felt compelled to address it. We often don't even realize how deep inside it is, but think about this: do you have a construct for the word Nerd? Yes, nerd. Someone who is intelligent and enjoys exploring her world. Do we have stereotypes for such a person, like the assumption that she's probably not very social, or that she's emotionally stunted or unattractive? If so, where did we get that? Is poor emotional development related to high intelligence and curiosity? I'm intelligent and curious, and so are many past world leaders, diplomats, Nobel Peace Prize winners, actors, authors, etc. So...where did we get the correlation if not from reality?

Rather than filling our minds with things that aren't true of others, we can get our heads out of YouTube, movies, and Huffington Post long enough to just get to know the individuals around us. If we really want to be relevant, there's nothing more relevant to the people around you than knowing them personally. In turn, when you no longer have stereotypes, you'll be free to explore those traits in yourself that you've been taught not to value.

So, when you're tempted to think you don't know how to live life, remember that there's no one quite like you. The idea isn't to fit in by being the same, but by bringing uniqueness. It's hard to do in a world that tells you that conformity is fitting in. When you are tempted to forfeit who you are for the prize of acceptance, realize you have an Acceptance Letter from the One who made you the way you are. Read it and leap. :)