Several years ago, I had a dream in which I saw two images consecutively. The first was a huge tree, but the birds were flying away from its branches. In the second one, birds were flying into the branches. There's a verse in the Bible that says the Kingdom of Heaven is like a mustard seed, which is tiny, but it grows into a massive tree in which birds can find shelter.
At first, this image disturbed me. It came at a time when I'd lost a couple of friends, and I felt like something was wrong with me. I felt like God was saying that I was repelling people, but that He'd make it so I wouldn't. As if He were like, "Stacey, there's something wrong with you. But I'll make you a better person than you actually are so you don't keep ruining things." Thankfully, God is humble and not sanctimonious!
It took awhile for me to understand (it was a many layered issue), but I realized that He was really saying that I pushed people away by not inviting them into my true heart. I was putting up a facade to impress them rather than letting them into my world. When you put up an image instead of your real self, you invite people to admire, or even maybe to imitate, but you can't invite them to participate. Because no one can walk into a 2 dimensional image, which is what we are like when we aren't real. It's like assuming that a celebrity or a model is a great person because of the superficial things you see (good looks, wealth, adoring fans). We assume that, if these things are present, they are the result of good character. But deep down we know that a person with good character is makes a difference by loving others. If we can let go of assumptions about someone based on what we see, we'll realize there's a whole deeper level of sharing our lives and sharing in the lives of others, and it's the path that truly connects humanity!
When Adam and Eve turned away from God in the Garden of Eden, the best they (and consequently, all of humanity) had left was to put forth an image of themselves rather than being themselves without shame. That's why they covered their bodies, thereby covering their true selves for fear of judgment. The parts of them that made them ashamed clearly didn't go away, but their fig leaves made it less noticeable.
But to invite someone into the real You means getting rid of all shame! Crazy, huh? Did she just say I never have to feel shame again? Yep! I said it because God says it, so you're sittin' pretty :) The only possible way shameless living can happen is to believe you are made and protected by God who accepts you completely.
I remember one season of my childhood during which I had total unawareness of needing to be self conscious. I used to love playing kickball at school, and I often emerged as confident leader for the sports I enjoyed (kickball and box ball). That is, until one day when someone told me I couldn't be good at sports because I was a girl. When I made mistakes, especially in the sports with which I was unfamiliar, these boys would get upset and say I was stupid. Suddenly, I thought there was something wrong with me. But really, nothing changed, right? Wasn't I still the good athlete and capable leader? Of course. But I forfeited my position and accepted the lie that I was a stupid, non-athletic girl, because doing what I loved no longer felt good thanks to the adversity.
Try to recall the earliest time when you felt no self consciousness. You can go back to that! It's a supernatural miracle to undo the holes in your heart caused by lies, but God is able! He wants to! Restoring your heart is actually why Jesus came! All you have to do is ask Him to do this for you. He'll begin a process of healing your heart, and you'll never be the same. Just believe.
When you go back to that place of not defining your worth by your circumstances, you will be able to open your heart as the tree that welcomes the birds. The Kingdom of Heaven is basically this kingdom in which you've been invited to take part. It's a family, with God the Father and you as His precious child! With His love, you'll no longer think about how hide what you don't want people to see. Instead, you'll know you are loved for the real you. Then you'll want people in your life so they can enjoy who God is inside of you, because enjoying Him is a group sport :) You'll also know how to let people help you so that you can enjoy who God is in them. We need each other, and not being perfect is the best opportunity to need the awesome people around you and to contribute your awesomeness to their lives :)
So with strength and security (a process that takes time, so be patient with your heart), you'll invite even the neediest people into your heart because you've got plenty of love to give! These birds, so to speak, will come right into your branches and hang out in the shade of your friendship. They'll take the form of friends, lovers (I mean, just one lover :) ), kids/family, coworkers, and even people on the street who need an encouraging word from you. And you'll do the same with the other Trees in your life :) So let God heal any place in you that feels the need to impress. Enjoy letting your true self shine!
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