When I was in my early 20's and right out of college, I mourned how quickly my t-shirts wore out. Sweat stains are the pits, no pun intended. But as I got older and more seasoned at doing laundry, I got better at avoiding how quickly my clothes went the way of all cloth. I realized that you have to be diligent to wash clothes in a timely manner before stains and sweat set into the fabric. If you wear things more than once (you know, like you just wear that shirt you like because it doesn't smell yet, but technically it isn't clean?), it'll eventually collect too much body goo to truly come clean. Or if you leave something in the laundry basket because you don't need to wear it anytime soon, the dirt will stay in it until it eventually stains it.
This evening, I was thinking about how our hearts are the same. We allow that friend to keep saying/doing things that hurt us because we are afraid to confront. It's happened to me a number of times where I want to confront a friend for something, but I don't. I keep saying, "Next time." Then at some point the issue crashes into the friendship and hurts us both.
What's more is that our hearts are, as God tells us in the Bible, the "wellspring of life," which we are instructed to guard with all vigilance. This is the place that all of our affection springs from. It's also the place from which we do all that we do in life. You can't do anything well if you have no love in your heart. And when you allow relational junk to go unsettled, it will build up inside of you, even if you don't notice. But rest assured it will come back to bite you! It's like pushing a beach ball under water. It will eventually rise with a vengeance, and you can't control who it will hit!
But the fear is real. Fear of confrontation, lost relationship, rejection, or whatever. But you know what? Satan is the source of fear, and he is a liar. He whispers that whatever it is you fear will bring you harm and devastation. I am living proof that it won't! When you follow God, He leads you to good things. Does that mean that confrontation will never end in rejection or loss of friendship? No. Sadly, sometimes it happens. Been there, done that, bought the sweat-stained t-shirt. Truth is here to set people free, but sometimes people are so bound that they fear freedom. Regardless, when you speak out something true and life giving, God is honored by you. Sometimes people will come around in time, and they will thank you for helping them. Sometimes they won't. But I guarantee that God will protect your heart no matter what. The Bible says that when He protects you, "you will not fear the terror of the night or the arrow that flies by day." In other words, you are not free from fear because nothing scary is present. You are free because God is mighty, and He keeps you simply by His amazing power to protect your heart! What love!
Did you know that not even physical death can harm your heart when you are in a relationship with God? I have heard testimonies of martyrs who are not afraid of any physical harm. Sure, it is painful, but God has a majestic way of swooping in to guard people. When Stephen, a biblical martyr, was being stones to death, God OPENED THE HEAVENS so Stephen could see it! And there, Stephen saw Jesus Christ Himself stand UP next to God! WOW! Jesus, Lord of Heaven and Earth stood for a mere man! That blows my mind! But you know what? It delights God's very soul when we obey Him and love Him enough to go to such lengths for Him (Stephen was sharing the message of Christ's love and salvation with violent men who refused to accept that they needed God). But Stephen was so smitten by the love God had for these men that he risked his life to share with them what God so longed for them to know. And it melted God's heart.
So don't fear speaking truth. God will often speak His love and correction to others through you, and if you refuse because of fear, you are depriving people of God's life-giving words! If someone had God's own words for you, wouldn't you want to hear them?
So speak to those in your life in the right timing, and don't let issues in your relationships get out of hand. The Bible says that bitterness (which will set in when you don't confront) grows up to defile many. You can prevent that by being open and truthful. Your heart will remain free, and your relationships will be more effective! People are precious, and God puts us in relationship to experience His fullness! So live this out, and refuse to let internal goo build up on your heart!
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