Beautiful...Sacrifice?

Sometimes we hear the word "sacrifice," and it dredges up all sorts of self-maming and images of pouring out our blood for those we love. We may even think of how we lay aside all that matters to us for the sake of loving God. But what is the heart of sacrifice? Is it about self-oppression, or is there something more profound and beautiful?

During in college, I was in a confusing relationship for a couple of years. We got to a point soon after graduation in which we were on our last leg. So when we saw each other during the year following my graduation, we were in an unstable place.

But we both wanted to move forward, but we couldn't agree on how. He thought we should shake off the past and move on. I told him the past was so ill-defined and hurtful that we needed to define the confusing actions, and confess and forgive the hurtful ones. But he dug in his heels, insisting that reopening the bygones would bring disaster. I decided that moving forward, if it were to involve me, would require true reconciliation. Sadly, that was the end of the relationship.

So other than the circumstance, why was I opposed to moving forward? Sure, it was because he wouldn't agree to work things out. But what is behind that? It's the very essence of sacrifice and trust.

I wasn't just in a huff because I didn't get my way. It's that he was trying to enter my life through the back door. He could have explained to me his confusing actions of the past and trusted that I loved him enough to forgive. In reality, whatever he told me would have been used merely as information, not fuel for criticism. I wanted him to love me enough to sacrifice his need to control so we could become a team. I knew that if we did that, there was no coming between us!

And it's the same with God, huh? In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve hid in fear from the One who loved them. But see, even though God is all knowing, He wants us to tell Him what's on our hearts. He doesn't demand it; He desires it. I believe that's why in the garden He says, "Where are you?" I believe He is still leaving it to them to tell Him, as He leaves it to you and me. In areas of our hearts not freely offered Him, He simply asks. It's not to accuse, but to work it out in that intimate place of honesty. That intimate place of sacrifice, where our question marks are taken from the darkness of our hiding place to the warmth of open relationship.

So how do we go from hiding to sacrificial love? Something made us afraid in the first place. Maybe there was abuse, misuse of trust, etc. We start by realizing how loving our Creator is, and we let Him help us take our guard down. It's a process, and He'll walk us through it with no judgment.

So realize that love is this kind of sacrifice, not some self-mutilating thing where we have no healthy boundaries. It's essentially giving up the fear-based urge to control and hide, and allowing ourselves to be known. When you're truly known, you don't need performance, fakeness, competition, or guardedness in your life. Instead, you'll find peace, depth of human connection, confidence, trust, and freedom to say no to unhealthy relationships while pursuing great ones! Doesn't that kind of love sound sweet?