The Dangers of Modesty

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This image makes me sad. I am sad because there is a beautiful woman in there, and her loveliness is hidden from the world.

See, a woman's beauty speaks of God's beauty. It speaks of balance, delight, sweetness, and gentleness. It speaks of wonder and tenderness, intensity and grandeur all at once! Haha, I had a Spanish professor in college one time who spoke of romantic poetry. He was saying why the poet compared women to berries. He very emphatically said, "Because women are sweet!" Joy.

Indeed, feminine beauty can be overwhelming. In the wrong contexts, physical beauty can even be dangerous to those who would twist it. When women are exploited for their beauty and turned into sexual objects of pleasure, this is harmful for all involved. Obviously, it degrades women, but it also degrades men. It turns a man into a pleasure-seeker instead of someone who respectfully delight in the woman to whom he is committed. When she can't return the blessing because it was never her choice to begin with, he finds himself empty. So he blames her for not fulfilling him. His end product is bitterness instead of the pleasure he was initially after.

While covering ourselves from head to toe is not as common here in the US, we need to watch the intentions of our hearts when it comes to "modesty." It begs the question, Why be modest? If a woman's body is pleasing and lovely, yea, a witness of God's beauty, why cover it? Hmm. Let me explain.

At Christmas time when I was little, my mom brought out the special China dishes. They were so beautiful. They were white with pink and green flowers. So delicate, and so intricately made. We knew that we needed to be very careful with them, so we treated them specially. But there are two things this special treatment did not indicate. It didn't indicate that the dishes were so worthless that we only brought them out rarely. It also didn't indicate, though, that they were so special that we wanted to hide them forever. They were worthwhile, and we wanted to share them with our many guests! But we wanted to use them in the right context. Using them every day would subject them to being broken, especially in a busy house with numerous children. The goal was merely to take good care of these things that we wanted to use, preserve, and share with those dear to us.

A woman's beauty is lovely, and we must be sure that we don't equate sexuality with the lustful lies around us. A woman is still sacred. We don't cover up because sexuality is dangerous. We cover up because people who don't value us don't get to use us for their pleasure. And we care enough about helping protect the hearts of those who would use us. If we hang on to the subtle yet lethal mindset that sexuality in itself is dangerous, we will hide. We will kill what God meant to be lovely.

And it won't stop with our appearance. Nope. We will take all the lovely things we are as women, and we will squelch them. Our tenderness, our openness, our ability to speak peace and truth where no man has gone before. I was told once when I used to do campus ministry that I should never mentor any guys. Sure, maybe I shouldn't be a sole mentor of a guy, but how crippling and individualistic to think that in the church we don't need spiritual fathers and mothers! There have been times when I did speak to young men and found a unique ability to give them a perspective that no man could have given. And I have had men whose wisdom has done the same for me!

So I want to call you up to be all you are. Speak love, truth, and beauty around you. Don't let anyone tell you that your motives are wrong. Unless they are :) But let the Holy Spirit be your guide on that. Let your heart remain open and committed to seeing everyone around you know who Jesus is inside of you. Be loosed.

*Note: This is not a criticism on any culture. This is about women in general, and modesty in general.