The idea of identifying with Christ in His death and resurrection is beautiful. I wasn't so sure I liked the first part for quite some time, honestly. It sounded to me like God wanting me to get rid of everything that made me unique so He could take over and make me one of His legion. But I am learning that everything God created to be beautiful has a Satanic counterfeit.
In this counterfeit, you have a person or entity (think abusive spouse or corporate boss) that essentially preys on people and their talents. They see someone who has what they want, and they manipulate and pressure that person to be "loyal" so that they can steal from him or her. For example, a man sees a pretty woman who is talented and sweet. He has always felt somehow inadequate as a person, so he wants this woman to make him feel better about himself. She agrees to a relationship with him, but he demands it on his terms, disregarding her feelings. Her having an opinion not his is unacceptable. He may not beat her up or scream, but he may tell her that she makes him feel bad about himself when she disagrees with him. Maybe he misuses her money and tells her that she is an unsupportive wife for wanting to use her money in a more responsible way. Regardless, he is stealing her material goods and throwing away her heart.
But God is so NOT like this! He's more of a rescuer. Think of it as a young woman sold into prostitution at a young age. She doesn't trust men because they have always used her and thrown her away when they were done satisfying their lusts. One day, a loving man sees her plight and longs to rescue her from prostitution. So to get her away from her traffickers, he pays all he has. He marries her (with her consent), which now makes it legal for him to take her home with him so he can take care of her. He delights in who she is and how unique she is to him. He finds her beautiful, and his deep hope is that she will come to trust him enough to willingly give herself to him. He wants her to die to her old life and mentality that men are parasites so she can receive his genuine love for what it is!
That's more like the death to self that God asks of us. Die to what we think gives us life (food, money, making ourselves physically beautiful) so He can give us real life!
So I will leave you with a beautiful illustration God showed me in a dream. He paints a picture of how dying to my self-made ideas will lead me to be able to receive His stable, perfect love for me! It was sweet and personal, but it applies to all people:
I was standing on a street when I heard the most beautiful voice singing. I felt so drawn to the Singer, so I crossed the street to sit by Him. He was beautiful and dressed in a white tux with a light blue shirt underneath. He played a harp-like instrument with pearls on it. He kept singing as I sat there wishing He would notice my presence, which He didn't seem to. The next scene was a living room in which some friends told me about a woman in the obituaries, asking me if I knew she was dead. Suddenly I pictured the woman, and while she didn't look much like me, I knew she was me. She wore a feminine version of the same clothing the Singer wore, and she was radiant in beauty. Then the Singer came into the house and said of this dead woman, "She is my sweetheart, and she will ALWAYS be my sweetheart!"
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