Discovering a Beauty I Cannot See

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is fleeting. But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." I always thought I believed this. It sounds good. No one wants to think that we place so much emphasis on the exterior that we overlook what is important. But God is drawing this out in me, which is so hard. Initially, I wasn't so sure I wanted this. There had to be some way for both to be true, right? No. And I am glad. I have been fed the same rot that many of us have since day one. Pretty is important. And I don't only mean a pretty face and figure. "Never let 'em see you sweat." Or, "put your best foot forward." "Dressed for success." One day at work a couple of years back, a kind yet misguided gentleman said something that opened my eyes. He'd been doing some consulting work for us, so he was in the office for several days. He was complementing my sense of style by saying, "You look like a very competent woman!" I thought to myself, How on earth can he assume this? Because I have on a nice outfit? I could be totally devoid of anything useful. But we are trained to fine tune the exterior so people will think something good of us. As if somehow, if others think it, it will become true. This draws me to ask what truth is and how it is determined. Is it because someone says it that it is true? Well, we know people say wrong things all the time. So that is impossible. But then. Why do we take opinion polls, play Family Feud, and read yelp.com? There's a subtle yet underlying idea that if the proverbial "they" says so, it is so. So we model ourselves after what is apparent. But here's the problem. What is seen is temporary. We all get old. Things that are exciting and are made to tickle our emotions become boring because emotions are momentary. So what can we do? Well, we can see that there is more to life. But we can't see it with our physical senses. We have to let God cultivate it in us. It takes time and lots of trusting the love and competence of a God we cannot put in a box. But it's so worth it. And when we do, this is what we discover. We discover that we were made to live a life that pours out love not so we can feel good, but so others can be saved. We learn that, in our dealings with other people, it is more important what they RECEIVE than what they PERCEIVE. For me, it means I understand that at my workplace, servanthood is better than position. In my friendships, telling my friend that she is on a path of destruction is more important than having her like me. With men, it means serving him rather than having him think I'm pretty. I'm not there yet, but when I am, I know that other people will be better. And that is worth living for.